and cannot change the channel.
on a loop, i see
all of my mistakes of late.
all of them, in their entirety.
everything i assumed and
everything i falsely hoped for
everything i believed
that were simply lies
i review the damage
i survey the carnage
and cannot
i cannot
i never will
i just cannot
i
i
i
cant
what is time? it heals nothing
the damage is still there
for me to review
over and over again
i am to r tured
what is this?
an old record stuck
to repeat the same silly tune
over and over and over
again. [i lay my head back down]
[i lift my hands and pray]
[to be only yours]
my fault my creed
i cannot tear my eyes away
from the lifeless bodies
the wreckage my heart among the detritus.
seared into my brain
are images of you
and a collection of
flowery words, their thorns thick with my
believing b lood.
i am in agony
of my own volition [or if i'm just missing the sun]
replay replay replay
repeat.
what is
what could this
what is this today and yesterday and tomorrow
will my soul never grow
out of this despondency?
the lamentation that i cannot shake
cause the bemoanings of an entire month.
i review the damage.
yet the taste of b lood in my mouth
is not enough to deter
foolish child, insanity runs in the family
[yet that is not known]
bruised, my heart expands
explodes out of my chest
for what you considered
nothing of consequence
the transplant comes at an
inconvenience. i supposed.
how could i possibly get some rest
when there is absolute v iolence
to fill up my chest?
why must i simply move on
when i prefer the dark of night
to the lighter dawn?
i cannot deal in the same way (if at all)
that everyone seems to be able to.
[that boy is a monster... he ate my heart]
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