Done

old habits
difficult to break.
i fall right back into
what feels good.

eyes closed
ears wide open
i listen and yearn
for a sound
from you
your voice was
lost on the wind
or never found
among the wolves.

all in all
this bad habit
this old habit
is something i cant live without
my addiction my curse
my life.
you are my oxygen
you are my lifeline
without you
i flounder on the open sea.

i stand in the middle
of a rickety old bridge
you call me from a side
and he calls me from the other
i do not turn to glance
to the right or left
my empty eyes
contemplate
the empty space
between the bridge and
the water and rocks below.
the empty space
that i fill
as i plummet to
the bottom.

the wind tears my skin
whistling through my hair
and roaring in my ears
the water grabs at my limbs
and the rocks split my head.

i have become dismembered
lying among the surf..
you gaze at me from above--
atop the bridge--
and all i can do is sigh
and close my eyes
inviting rest to seep
into my dying pores.

i had a choice to make
i had a cop out to take
i gave up, i
gave in to the whims
of the restless
the heartbroken..
me.