messy psychic memory

(i think i thieved your words)

tiny droplets
a library of all your fears
and disappointments
your nightlight failed you

crying in the rain or underwater
cannot undermine
your hurt.

the sea
the ocean
is our library of tears
carefully documenting the hurt
to fill the world
with memories of what has past.
(and what is inevitable)

what if we had a few more months
a couple more years?
would white light and golden rubber bands
(to remind of course) reside
in our fortune cookie future?

the muscles in my hair
restrain the scream that boils
inside my chest.
it wasnt meant to be violent,
but the anger and hurt
and the pain i dont think i can stand

anger with time
hurting to lost a heart
pain to remember

the days and the ways
could never
be just right
or just the way they used to be.

tender tender
sweet november
darling darling
precious boy
say you wont leave
me anymore.

notes on the scale
numbers on a clock
they write the scratches
and the time
we got.

i push it out of my head
like the poison
from a snakebite

i reject your future,

i just want your love
all to myself.

i taste frosting on my tongue
and remember to open the blinds
blinding my eyes to the world
with the help of the steadfast sun.

i rode the pony underneath the starry sky
he cried and he cried but i never knew why
i followed them that night into the dark
with the hopes of witnessing those tiny sparks

flannel felt weird to my hand but i kept
the message in a bottle that was only wept
and swept under waves and underwater caves.
but no one was in a saltwater room.

don't mind me.
kiss me sweetly
and take your leave
before i fall apart.