i made myself believe it was an irrational hurt.

i made myself believe it was an irrational hurt.
i made myself believe it was an irrational hurt.
i made myself believe it was an irrational hurt.
you don't have the right to feel injured, ya silly,
you have no stake in this deal
you've no hand to play.
you were cast off long ago, voted off this carnivorous island
of betrayal.
guess what, darling?
you've no right to be hurt.
so suck it up, ya pansy.
I LIED .
to the person im always going to have to put up with...
me.
I LIED .
and now all i feel is the cold stab of bitterness that took root deep within my heart of hearts.
i left it alone, all boxed up in the unforgiving recessess of the side of my heart that begs to forget, to cast off.
but it grew and it grew into a monster that i cannot defeat.
that stab
through my back
its diseased and festering, its a wound that will kill me, eventually,
yet...
i told myself it was but a papercut, not worthy of accusations, revenge... reparation.
i convinced myself that i overreact and just freak wayy too much.
nah.
I LIED .
a blatant. unashamed. bold faced. lie.
you're fine.
no one wants to hear you complain about your so-called problems.
everyone knows you're spoiled like a brat in the blessings department.
maybe so.
but you hurt me. and i wouldnt let myself accept my vulnerability. and i wouldnt let anyone else see.. what you had done.
no matter how small in actuality.
you hurt me.
you
he
he hurt me.
h e h u r t m e .
no matter how necessary it may have seemed at the time..