a simple question (what is this?)

its just a query
that i've pondered for quite a while.
from the looks of things, you've made up your mind.
you know whats what.

but you definantly aren't what you were.
that much is clear.
i hate to see you throw down the beauty,
leave it behind
with those articles of...
manslaughter
and treachery.
you scathed his heart
with a jig-saw
and ever so carefully
carved up his flesh
into a b l e e d i ng mess..
what is left?

it was a simple
fair
unassuming (okay thats a lie)
question
that i have wanted you to answer for quite a while, now...

why are you such a g odda mn whore?

i dont know what i'm doing anymore.

who is left to love?

i ask you,
who is left to love?

cold indifference
is a stagnant fog that hovers over my shoulder.
i can barely see you through it all.

and
i need you more than i had hoped.

nosotros? animales?

the meaning
was lost in translation
yet he understood perfectly.

she wants him?
well, she will have him if its the last thing she does.

i have come to believe that we
yes we, [that means me and you and your next door neighbor
and all the little children and a d u l t s of the world]
are utter beasts.
animals.
we are animals.
we are no different than animals.
we steal and hurt and kill and rip apart
we wage our wars and we build our caves
in which we hide the souls that the god who loved
granted us.
we hid the gossamer jewels like they shamed our names.
we folded them carefully and tucked them away
and we pretended that they didnt matter
that their existence was merely certifying our humanity...
much less defining it.
but could that soul have defined your humanity,
had you let it?
we will never know..
for it remains b l o o d and tearstained in a shed
behind your shack
built from the veins of your prey
you animal.

when you weren't looking

i've written you a sonnet
i've sung you a pretty song
i've painted you a mural
that describes our love's dawn

but i think you missed
what iwas trying to say
what i tried to scream
in every possible way

you were too preoccupied
with your work and aspirations
to recognize this smile
in all our conversations.

your ears have stayed closed
and your eyes they are blind
to all my vain attempts
to penetrate your mind.

do you know what you are doing?
when you refuse to let me in?
you're pushing me away, now,
driving the stakes in.




i was a little worried
when i saw our world
become smaller and smaller

they watch us now,
without our consent
i live in a snow-globe these days.

"went for a walk with the hubby today"
did they really think we'd care?
who let them in?

who gave them the password to our secret universe
of teenage angst
and frivolity?

could you please change it, the password?
so we can shut out their wisdom, their paternal
guidance
that pushes us down roads of destruction..

it's not what you think

I stand here fully clothed,
yet na k e d before you.
for you see right through
straight to the bone
to the skeletal heart
that thumps out a beat
on occasion.

my brain, my emotions
my life
lays before you
absolutely transparent
for you to peruse, meander
dissect.. explore.
i cringe, i melt, and i faint.
the vulnerability,
is almost more
than my frail self can bear.

it's a tragedy
it's a crime
for you've broken into my mind.
you're a thief and a t e r r or ist.
and i'm not quite sure how to evict.

yet..

there was once a tale of a g i r l who spent four years as a hostage. her mind became so void of all natural common sense, that, upon her release, she claimed undying love to her abusers. her coping mechanism? her undoing?

it's intimacy
it's profundity
for you've broken into my mind.
you're a lover and a confidant
and i'd never want to evict.

and what side of the coin,
will we land on?
the cold face of dear old Abe,
bidding us loathe for eternity?
or the warm windows of a home,
calling us into safety..


IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
IT WAS NEVER WHAT YOU THOUGHT.
YOUR THOUGHTS REMAIN BURIED INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD..

the irony. the disappointment.

it has been my experience that those who claim to be peacemakers, are generally guilty of starting a war.

you tell me my beliefs are silly
and old-fashioned.
you curse me
and the standards i have tried to uphold.
yet you advocate peace and tolerance.
you are angered by the world's unacceptance.
yet you cannot bring yourself to accept me.
I have done nothing to offend you
save hold fast to my convictions.
I have threatened you in no way,
save my silent opposition of your twisted world.
Why am I the only exception to your rule of tolerance?
I have not made you an exception to my rule of unconditional love,
despite your habits of persecution.

apples and oranges?
nay, the same fruit they remain.