belligerency

i did not move
as i drove the car through the dry air of texas
the spider used my arm to build his home
and the music seeped into my brittle bones
as i wondered how i had come so far
and how i had tread water
yet fallen back. into the lake
of my mistakes.

you see,
i heard a little piece of news
that made me shiver in the heat of june
i thought you noble, kind, genteel
yet somehow i hear you're not quite real
my heart grows heavy
weighted down
by this snippet of accusatory sound.
i ask myself why you could not have grown
used all your mistakes to make yourself learn
that people deserve more from you
than a wave and a smile, an empty "how dya do"
you dissappointed me, that is the gist
and i falter in continuing with what was planned..

so they locked me into the prison
that i built with my own two hands
crafted and schemed through my very own plans
with every glance and shifty remark
i drove the nails and lighted the sparks
that pulled together those bars of iron and steel
and my shrine, my tomb was finally sealed.
goodbye dear world, you've been so kind
i only wish i had a little more time
to appreciate what is here and what is gone
to remember the brightness of easter's dawn.

you see, (again)
i was ever so careful to curb my tongue
to appear less overbearing than some
and to show the interest i felt was due
without letting on that i really liked you.
no i won't explain to you just how i feel
but i will still do my best to at least attempt to be real
thats right, real. somehow.
the only reason she thought i was fake
was because i was pretending that day i was nice to her.
she actually grates against my tolerant nerves
pushes me over the edge with her self-important facade.
but a closer look and and what might we disclose?
an insecurity deep as the roots of the tree in my backyard.
she feels the need to assert her worth,
and for that i pity her. i really do.



my dear children!!
pay her no heed
she pays only for her deed
of sin and strife
she tried to ruin her life
and she deserves every stripe
she tried to pick the fruit before it was ripe.
i deserve every stripe.