just a'ponderin

It's a useless infatuation I have
for that boy behind the piano.
And it's a ravenous wolf that will
eventually destroy itself I know.
It's all truth no use denying
the facts for everyone to see.
But I still construct my tinted windows
and dark curtains to completely hide me.
Why am I so dark and gloomy on
a day that calls for pink sunglasses?
Why is my disease my precarious malady
a self-inflicted 30 lashes?
Time was never my friend
and we will never be on good terms.
But all I know is that I love you dearly
and that I will share the gummy worms.

I always knew I would be able to resurface, but now I am reduced to wondering if there is even any hope left in this angry world. Is there any hope left out there for lil ole me?

The secret worlds of other people
and realizing that you're not the only one with an opinion.
No. I won't let you say what you are thinking until you've heard a thorough synopsis of what I want you to hear.
I am vain.
I am self-seeking
I am small-minded
But, hey, it can't be my fault can it? After all
I am not responsible for what I learn and don't learn
Of course, nothing is my fault.
The world is inherently evil while my little ole self is most definantly inherently good.
And yet I slip and slide down that self-righteous mountain, while everyone is destracted by the decoy resting at the unattainable summit.
Look. (over here) (I crave attention, baby)
I think I've let everyone in the enitre world down.
You think I am this way, while I am most definantly that way.
I am not who you think I am.
in my heart of hearts.