broken broken

I run too far.
I'm left breathless
much farther than i've
been before.

it's a strange yet quiet
isle that is calm
but brooding, underneath.
the current and undertow
that drag and pull and
entice us to play on the
ocean floor. we succumb
we become
gravity
as we drift down down
to the bottom..

farther than we've come
before.

when will the day come?
the day the stopping just
doesn't have to happen.

stopsigns and stoplights
a thing of the distant past
your face in my hands
only my future.

you'll amputate my heart
in the wee hours of
the cruel morning,
you'll tear it right apart.
and the tears will float your
canoe and send you
drifting over the useless
dam. you'll amputate my heart
you'll cut through the armor
and the metal shields

what was given will
be lost. i say goodbye
to my love.
i say goodbye,
but my love my love
carried in your hands,
cannot be lost
when it is locked in my/your
broken broken heart.

reasons to leave/stay

the sounds come to a stop
stop.
the silence pounds.
the stir of your retreating
footsteps
consume my brain
in their awful
red cloud.
this is not enough

clouds drop tears
and the forecast is rain.
the forecast
is lonely.

alone.

absence makes the heart grow fonder
absence makes
for sad hannah.

absence makes for
to tell
the way i lost
my mind.
have i lost my mind?

i can no longer see myself
in a world without you.


see? without you i write trash.
my thoughts scatter on the wind
and down the drain
my thoughts abandon me.
i find no thinking going on in my head.
only hysterics.

for the benefit of no one

craft stories with the blades of grass
lining your feet.

live the summer, feel the breeze and
resist the heat.

sea change

pen to paper
only what hurts.
today this day that's today
its all too good to
handle.

the best of (dis)regards

it's like a book elegantly bound but
in a language
that you can't read

just dying of intoxication
dying on the floor
but in your arms
dying in various locations.

just wanting to remember
trying to stop
trying but not wanting to
trying to understand
the want and the try
the stop.

wanting all
needing none

i'm sorry.

you do nothing but give
my sorries own reasons
and my reasons own shame

i own shame.

it goes by other names
called on the streets, pride and
prejudice, and behind closed doors,
a hunger. i'm sorry.

it can't be explained because
it cannot be understood.
not understood? mostly ignored
and partially accepted. deceptive.
we understand.
but the caring is less than the 3/5ths
that kept you at bay.


in a language that you can't read

too much but not enough

instances control us
walls are torn down in seconds
for the sake of the coming tide
and the rushing wind

i pull down fences
i kick them down for you
momentum love is all i have
to give.

i dont know if you were able
to understand
my words of words
under the sky,
my gifts seem strange
to you, oh who are young

i mean the meaningless words i say
i meant the words
the 'we three kings'
that traverse afar.. and perhaps
they go too far
perhaps we went too far
those three words
i know that too far
are said too much
is beautiful and ugly
and not enough
all in the same together-colored
instant.

i burn i pine i perish

i'm not fireproof.

i wasn't made for instances.



those three words
are said too much
and not enough

the echoes of "no"

knowing never (k)new
maybe winter followed
me

pounding searing aching
maybe i'm being followed.

words words words
all words no substance
illegal substances congeal
beneath your bed.

the tears jump from my eyes
like tiny kamikazes they
die on my cheeks and on
the floor.

i can't stop the pounding

i can't stop the aching.


i'm sick.