of which i cannot know

temporary golden hair
lines your/my face and eyes.
through rose-colored lenses
you watch
a thousand quiet goodbyes.

the smell/ the sound of you
the plain you-filled
space of air
brings me to the silent
awakening, the knowledge
of my place, my honor
my indelible shining smile.
"i love you, baby,
and if it's quite alright,
i need you baby,
to warm a lonely night"


you are my sunshine, my only sunshine

both frail and forgetful

i have always been frail
weak, forgetful of your pretty words
that are backed up, insured at that
trustworthy bank.

i forget your embrace
with the passage of time,
and i leave behind my desires
when i feel you're not mine.

i shift as sand
that runs through your hand.

im as changing as the sea
and as fickle as the moon in the summer sky.

but there are those precious words
that speak for themselves
uttered though they are,
they tell all time and they
find the sublime.
im reminded of you
and of what i might be
when i take your hand
despite my fears and heart's demands
shifting as sand, i cringe and
i shiver, though you'd never
let me sink.

why the frailty, and why the indecision?
when the sun hits our faces
and the smile begins to grow
and we find those old traces
of the love we both know
i can stand it no longer
for i find once again
the love that i've had
that should never know an end.

what i leave behind

sand shifts in its place
monster white envelopes
(we sealed our fates)
invite green paper to your
pocket, under pillows
portraits gather dust
rocks in my shoes remind
me of the long road ahead
and the burden resting
on my shoulder whispers
terrifying salutations--
when i leave i won't be
coming back, i will hardly
know where it is i am come
from, i will only know where
i am going. for the first
time light doesn't hurt
my eyes, and for the first
time i can barely speak
the name of the place
or the smell of the street
that will meet my feet.
the comfort fades slowly
and softly but i fall with
a bang and am shocked.
shocked, i realize i am gone
i left years ago, before i
really was called. what
have i done? what have
i missed? for the first
time i regret the time's
passage and the extra sleep
i inhaled. familiar faces
fade into the background
i cannot wake from this
nightmare--i really do
not know where it is
i am going. i only know
where it is i have come
from. i walk past busy
streets where people
sing and play guitar. I
leave a tear on the pave-
ment as i do my best to
find those people and
those places and all
those glorious memories
of sunshine and wind
and purple satin dresses
that
i left
behind.