maniacally methodical

i fell from eloquence
like lucifer from favor.
i rejected words like
her body rejected her liver.

..what (one[the boy] who lives)

i now know
[do i? (do i know anything?)]
deep within my frame
beneath these folds of flesh
resting in my heart of hearts
is a magnet of sorts
(i cannot explain)

the glory of it all
(compels) i know not
words to speak(er)
speaker, speaker, little speaker
tell me stories, give me (sneakers)
no
but then again, why must i wait for
your softness to locate
a magnet hidden deep.
a riddle rhymed a riddle reap
perhaps our rendezvous was
meaningless (i hope not)
perhaps we are children (we are)
i offer commentary to the deaf ears
the deaf ears offer their listening ears
no. their silent ears.
the void, the gap, the gasp of silence.
the silence that enveloped--no. (it did not)
we overtook the silence in a million
soundless words.
i found a funny secret i locked inside my shoe
[what?] was meant by the words
that labeled the sane?
i stepped on all your secrets--
they're hidden in my shoe.
finding painted ponies offered none
at all--no solace for the sunburn
no aloe for the scar. what was mine
is never surely ours.
metal metal creeping metal
finds (its way) a way to replace our
very bones. our bones of marrow and flesh..?
our bones that brittlebreak
and cannot withstand the turn of time
whistle whistle whilst wandering
wonder woods would wear no.
i reject your bag of words.
they fall on me like acid.
acid touch, they fall on me.
i reject the words we poured in our vain
attempts to fill the unfillable silence.
too much to say to use your words.
too much.
our vain attempts to rival the rain.
smaller hands, never have i seen.
a murky master was followed today and yesterday.
i know now of what sort your question marks.
yet i see what i see, what i say i saw, i saw.
quote the unquotable tabletimeturningwhatnonsense.
ignore ignore for better or worse
ignore the cure
ignore the curse.

influenced

i never thought i could forget the world
in the middle of my storm
or lose recollection of
all that was said before
the day
the day before yesterday.

might i ask how you found this page?
this page reveals all time
in a tender, silver handshake
underneath the skies'
fully torn skin
veil but curtain--cloth?
the day before yesterday.

sinking miserably yet unequivocably
delighted in you
to be found ransacked
filled with joy that was labeled
with a stinking scarlet letter.
what does the word say?
how might the mouth explore
the dangers and safeties of
us?

a brief concoction of memories

i live a day to day existence
always falling to the floor
i measure time by weekends
and forget to close the door

i saw the lonely face in the mirror
and wondered who it could be
"certainly not me--i am the happiest
i could ever hope to be"

"not i" declared the hen.

was i ever understood?

it fell right through my fingertips
and vanished through the carpet.
my mind is scraped along the concrete
i try and i try to remember and find
where the hell it could have gone.

what

what is it that i'm looking for?

i hold your hand and the light finds
its way
the water begins to clear--the mud has
found more interesting prey.
ignore this.

my immortal separation

i am not changed.
but i can see the corner
i've been told to turn.

i have yet to be changed.

it was the anger that tied me down
to the colder earth
that prompted the rage
that took me down,
past all sounds of life and light.

i am not changed
in this sickle cell
i turn from you in brusque
identity--desperation
beyond comprehense..
i am not changed
and i do not understand
this person i am become.. s
difficulty bedevils our soul
surrender sister, you lost--
surrender the sister you lost.
was i supposed to change, ever?

you advertise and you preach
and i sink into a mire
desire, intent, and free thinking
free was never a concept
to be held onto in the coldest
of nights or behind the toolshed.
i
know
nothing
i know i am not changed.


i took this path only because
you loathe its existence.. you blanch
at its mention and you despise its name.
i took this path because of you
because of your h a t e.
i took this path.
see if i am changed.