Journey to the Sun. (but not back)

put on your metal pants.
the ones in the closet, behind the orange shirt.
put them on, and come on.
we are going to the sun
we'll fly in our fuel efficient space shuttle to our fiery demise, knowing full well that only d e a t h and destruction awaits us at our grisly destination. Yet, onward we'll soar, onward we will plummet.
sip your lemonade and make polite conversation as the sweat begins to trickle down our brows, and the parched feeling penetrates through our tongues, jaws and down our throats. Comment on the weather before your heart has a chance to stop beating; tell me everything was always okay moments before i meet the steam. the burning gas of goodbye.
"How are you?" I ask, wanting... well, not wanting a truthful answer (a dutiful friend I am, for showing my undivided support)
"Good" You answer, a liar you've been. (but i don't encourage pearls before swine, as I offered little more than pig-like consideration)
Neither of us are "good"
Unless you count the end of misery something to be gained.
and the end of misery it will be; only at the hands.. the rays of the time-table master.
so, come with me, won't you?
it's just like any other day in the lives of those who don't live, those zombie children, those lifeless wastes of space...
as we travel to the sun.

just a'ponderin

It's a useless infatuation I have
for that boy behind the piano.
And it's a ravenous wolf that will
eventually destroy itself I know.
It's all truth no use denying
the facts for everyone to see.
But I still construct my tinted windows
and dark curtains to completely hide me.
Why am I so dark and gloomy on
a day that calls for pink sunglasses?
Why is my disease my precarious malady
a self-inflicted 30 lashes?
Time was never my friend
and we will never be on good terms.
But all I know is that I love you dearly
and that I will share the gummy worms.

I always knew I would be able to resurface, but now I am reduced to wondering if there is even any hope left in this angry world. Is there any hope left out there for lil ole me?

The secret worlds of other people
and realizing that you're not the only one with an opinion.
No. I won't let you say what you are thinking until you've heard a thorough synopsis of what I want you to hear.
I am vain.
I am self-seeking
I am small-minded
But, hey, it can't be my fault can it? After all
I am not responsible for what I learn and don't learn
Of course, nothing is my fault.
The world is inherently evil while my little ole self is most definantly inherently good.
And yet I slip and slide down that self-righteous mountain, while everyone is destracted by the decoy resting at the unattainable summit.
Look. (over here) (I crave attention, baby)
I think I've let everyone in the enitre world down.
You think I am this way, while I am most definantly that way.
I am not who you think I am.
in my heart of hearts.

Our Selfish World

A Secret... Okay, A Well-Known Fact That I had to Reiterate...
Let's face it. People are selfish.
They use and they steal and they expect others to love them unconditionally and they expect others to forgive them.
YET.
People refuse to let go of the wrongs done to them. We want to be forgiven without having to forgive.
I (and all my friends for that matter) am at a ridiculously selfish point in my life by nature. Everything has got to be all about me or it just isn't interesting or isn't worth my time. My needs and wants must be met before I/we/you can even think about what would benefit the people around me. I am fairly certain that i speak for more than just myself when i say; we live for the approval and attention of our peers. Why wear cute clothes? Do people generally wear cute clothes on days that they expect to stay at home? um, no. You dress up to impress someone, be it a guy a , anyone. People just want to be loved and accepted more than anything else in the entire world.

Overcast and shadow

The world is asleep.
the wind is dry and uninviting, and the sky is overcast and grey.
no snow in Texas, only yellow front lawns and cold concrete streets to greet my tearless eyes.
The bare-armed trees reach passively towards the sky, begging the sun to come back from it's seasonal rendezvous.
It doesn't listen.
It climbs higher in the sky, hiding behind the clouds. laughing down, mocking it's subjects. it's slaves.
"It's not time yet, I'd rather stay up here than have to warm the earth for summertime"
but when WILL it be time? when can we hope for rays of sunlight and light-hearted peals of life-giving laughter to envelope us in an embrace that reminds us we are alive?
the cold, the horrid cold, with its spidery Jack Frost fingers tickles our spines and causes shivers to rack through our beings. a cruel joke it plays on us; its a prank we cannot escape.
no mercy, no intervention on our behalf from the sun.
we are destined only to be prisoners of a dreary world, half asleep in our quiet cocoons. the hibernation that will take its toll slowly silences the protests of even the boldest.
all that you can do now is...
sleep

TellMe

I felt low today.

for no reason at all.

I cried a few tears

and waited by your car.

the sun beat down

and the wind blew up

the sounds pulled me right

but the rivers pulled me left

and i left

because i knew you

couldnt come

i left because i knew

you wouldnt come.

I felt low today.

oh. now i remember

There is nothing quite as irritating as the senseless chatter of people who really have no idea what they are talking about.
Oh wait. Actually there is one thing...
Yea, when you realize that YOU [yes you] own the vocal chords that misinterpreted and slandered the good name of those more intelligent than you, thats what is discouraging, when you realize you are actually a really stupid person and should not have been let out into the world...
...you end up asking yourself; "Am I better off sweeping streets and collecting garbage? Does this world need me at all?"
Its can be as simple as sitting at a lunch table with friends...
Conversation flows while you calmly work on your capri sun and pb and j...
but here it comes..
that crucial point between swallow and next bite--you make a comment.
silence ensues at your table.
slowly each head turns to gawk questioningly at you.
WHAT did you say?

"umm... I said that Chlorine kills AIDS?"