meh

when i don't have words
i can't give you what my
brain is doing, these days--
as it sits on my shoulders...
i don't really know what it
is doing these days. where is
my mind? it's busy writing
you love poems.. because
no thing could make me forget
or divert my attention--you
fill my empty head.

myhandinyourhand

my dear, my dearest dear can you hear
and do you fear--count the stars and
place the brightest one inside your pocket.
fuel my tears and stay the distance--stay.
we grow strong with the coming days
absence, not absinthe, makes the heart
grow fonder--my heart grows fonder--
i do admit. your voice sweeter and sweeter,
a soft violin that whispers in my ear.
my dear, my dearest dear can you hear?
i covet the days i will come back to you--
will you sing my name? and spin me around
and ask me where i've been? (where have
i been?) will you kiss my cheek like
those days we subjected ourselves to
the cinematography of wanda and
her fishes; little fishes, dirty wanda.
(little wanda, dirty fishes?) will you?
will you? (my letter might be too much--
i fear your voice) i suppose i'm a dirty
person.. for hoping things will be
the way they were. i suppose i ask too
much.. when i ask you where we're
going. (do i ask too much?) i suppose i'll
love you then.. limitless then--you have
overcome your expiration date.
you'll be with me like a handprint on
my heart--you are inscribed on my heart.
i gave you my heart--and there is your name
in bold script scrawled across the surface.
because i knew you.
i know there is one thing i will never learn
i have been changed.
i hope there is one thing you will never learn
for good.

being ridiculous; a pastime

if only they'd spiked the green tea
i wouldn't be just sitting here
up to my ears in misery
waiting for the apex of fear.
i might be having a good time
i wouldn't be reading Hopkins
why won't you just explain the rhyme
well, nothing else rhymes with hopkins.

if only they'd spiked the green tea..
or sold me two nutella jars
though my chocolate would console me
i'd rather waste time chasing cars.
if those b*****ds had spiked my tea
i would not have murdered mozart
cause it wouldn't matter to me
that the movie sucked--i hate art.

gerard manley hopkins can die.

unconventional accidental sonnet 2

you fill more minutes, hours than i'd tell

but even so, you know my heart so well

so well, swelling ocean, river tides

you know my heart better than i

and when you tell of my disease--

you explain the symptoms with such ease

and to whom this sickness might belong?

is it mine, or ours all along?

with this silence, my fears turn inside

my chest, less and less they hide

i become uneasy when i can't hear

or see your face my beautiful dear

and i wonder if you remember my

name like i hear yours within a sigh

careful and soft--i'll mail you my heart

i'll hope and pray we don't fall apart.

loophole (you knew it was coming)

this lesson in self restraint
(self inflicted torture)
might teach us to love better
than we could have taught
ourselves. perhaps? absence
makes the heart grow
fonder? i can only hope
(and wish and dream and pray...)
but i can't only hope--i can
plan and write and cross
my fingers that absence won't
let us forget the little wooden
bridge under the silent sky...
the secret park that broke
our barriers into little pieces.
so i hold you in my heart--
and hope (the audacity of----)
(and wish and dream and pray)
that that will be enough.


here in my heart, you are enough

...

it takes much more than hopes/dreams--a stronger force

to keep the world spinning on her ancient axis.. to keep

the ocean moving with the gales of summertime.

it takes much more than hope/dreams to remember the

day we held each others tears and fears in the palms of our

hands as if time couldn't ever let us forget. will it let us forget?

...