nosotros? animales?

the meaning
was lost in translation
yet he understood perfectly.

she wants him?
well, she will have him if its the last thing she does.

i have come to believe that we
yes we, [that means me and you and your next door neighbor
and all the little children and a d u l t s of the world]
are utter beasts.
animals.
we are animals.
we are no different than animals.
we steal and hurt and kill and rip apart
we wage our wars and we build our caves
in which we hide the souls that the god who loved
granted us.
we hid the gossamer jewels like they shamed our names.
we folded them carefully and tucked them away
and we pretended that they didnt matter
that their existence was merely certifying our humanity...
much less defining it.
but could that soul have defined your humanity,
had you let it?
we will never know..
for it remains b l o o d and tearstained in a shed
behind your shack
built from the veins of your prey
you animal.

when you weren't looking

i've written you a sonnet
i've sung you a pretty song
i've painted you a mural
that describes our love's dawn

but i think you missed
what iwas trying to say
what i tried to scream
in every possible way

you were too preoccupied
with your work and aspirations
to recognize this smile
in all our conversations.

your ears have stayed closed
and your eyes they are blind
to all my vain attempts
to penetrate your mind.

do you know what you are doing?
when you refuse to let me in?
you're pushing me away, now,
driving the stakes in.




i was a little worried
when i saw our world
become smaller and smaller

they watch us now,
without our consent
i live in a snow-globe these days.

"went for a walk with the hubby today"
did they really think we'd care?
who let them in?

who gave them the password to our secret universe
of teenage angst
and frivolity?

could you please change it, the password?
so we can shut out their wisdom, their paternal
guidance
that pushes us down roads of destruction..

it's not what you think

I stand here fully clothed,
yet na k e d before you.
for you see right through
straight to the bone
to the skeletal heart
that thumps out a beat
on occasion.

my brain, my emotions
my life
lays before you
absolutely transparent
for you to peruse, meander
dissect.. explore.
i cringe, i melt, and i faint.
the vulnerability,
is almost more
than my frail self can bear.

it's a tragedy
it's a crime
for you've broken into my mind.
you're a thief and a t e r r or ist.
and i'm not quite sure how to evict.

yet..

there was once a tale of a g i r l who spent four years as a hostage. her mind became so void of all natural common sense, that, upon her release, she claimed undying love to her abusers. her coping mechanism? her undoing?

it's intimacy
it's profundity
for you've broken into my mind.
you're a lover and a confidant
and i'd never want to evict.

and what side of the coin,
will we land on?
the cold face of dear old Abe,
bidding us loathe for eternity?
or the warm windows of a home,
calling us into safety..


IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
IT WAS NEVER WHAT YOU THOUGHT.
YOUR THOUGHTS REMAIN BURIED INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD..

the irony. the disappointment.

it has been my experience that those who claim to be peacemakers, are generally guilty of starting a war.

you tell me my beliefs are silly
and old-fashioned.
you curse me
and the standards i have tried to uphold.
yet you advocate peace and tolerance.
you are angered by the world's unacceptance.
yet you cannot bring yourself to accept me.
I have done nothing to offend you
save hold fast to my convictions.
I have threatened you in no way,
save my silent opposition of your twisted world.
Why am I the only exception to your rule of tolerance?
I have not made you an exception to my rule of unconditional love,
despite your habits of persecution.

apples and oranges?
nay, the same fruit they remain.

just a little thought. no thing special.

i won't tell you.
no, i'd rather be cryptic
and hope you dont understand.
and hide
in front of your face
and inside your brain
like a parasite that you didnt know was there.
look at the yellow wallpaper
it was not what you thought it was
and it drove your wife completely
crazy.
that is it; i want to be hidden
inside something obvious.
the easy simple road is less of a challenge
than sprinting through the woods
in the middle of a moonless night
darting past trees
throw furtive looks behind your shoulder
to be sure that you are not being
hunted.
that cartoon you hold
you thought it was an old woman with a big nose.
look closer dear, and you will see
the young the beautiful
the profile of a g i r l.
i hope i can hide myself so adequately.
yet.. i feel this explanation is
a tad silly
and i shall stop.

blank and empty mind (mumbo jumbo)

no words. no movement.
vegetable they call him.
because he cannot breathe, eat, excrete on his own.
he is totally and completely unable to do anything on his own.
and here he sits, year after year in his hospital chair.
propped up by numerous fluffy pillows.

peel away the useless body, the layers of flesh that have long been disconnected from the brain.
peel them all away,
and i wonder what you would find?
is it really possible to have an empty mind?

where is his soul?

is he angry at being so helpless.. unable to even relieve himself of the misery, not even given the opportunity to end his own miserable life?

should he be angry at all?
is his body a prison, or a dependable fortress? or both?
he is trapped, yet safe, floating in the sea.. encompassed by the walls his brain has built.
he is incarcerated.. yet.. hides from the wild behind the bars at the zoo.

i cannot speak for you or him
and what i thought you meant
really was something i made up
but
you are really me and i am actually him
we are two sides of a coin
all floating in the same imprisoning sea
all battling the fiercest gales
all crying and floundering and gasping precious air
we are all in the same boat.. nay
we are all not in the same boat
my soaked clothes and hair reveal
that i fell out of that sea worthy craft long ago
and i think you will find similar circumstances
concerning yourself.
let us say, rather;
we are all in the same treacherous waters
for the safety of a boat, i have never known.

donde esta the culprit? may (s)he step forward!!

I'm just putting my thoughts together
I'm just trying to sift through tugging currents
of what i may or may not believe
what ive heard and what ive seen
they float in and out of my head
and they keep swirling around til theyre d e s t r o y e d
and disproven or perhaps disputed
or worse, forgotten.. allowed to sink away
into oblivion.
is this right or is this wrong, im not sure i can say
i cant quite judge
nay, i cannot judge this or that
for ive been influenced far too strongly
ive been taught for far too long
that each and every speck of conflict
has double the trouble and twice the story
you bargained for
there is not black and white
and who, praytell, took that idyllic world
and mussed it up? who grayed everything
from the sun and snow to the word and tear?
why did they do it? why
would i prefer a simple meaningless life of motion
to the colorful meaningless life of crime conflict and comedy?
because the latter
that is where we live
and i question what i would settle for, given the choice.